Instant thought

Trust, promise and faith are utterly strong and yet so fragile words. There’s a very thin invisible string attached between the two people carrying these deep emotional thing. Once broken can never be mended. Even if it does get repaired it can never be the same way how it used to be that crack will always be there as a reminder.

Reading my MANGAS

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Sparkling or Still.”

I prefer reading my favourite mangas. I love doing things that I enjoy the most. They relax my mind make me laugh and happy. I get very emotional. I feel very relaxed, alive again.

I don’t have control over my emotions I don’t know whether it’s a bad or good thing but that’s who I am. I was just browsing saw this post read others replies about it and suddenly decided to write mine. Some said they the busier the better, some do creative things very active, some believe to make most out of it and some find it troublesome, tiring to do anything.

Well I agree with not getting tired. Just sit around idle do nothing relax your body. Actually I’m very lazy I don’t like working. If I get a chance to not work my whole life and to just sit give orders to other people I would happily take it but not possible. So I like sitting at my place peacefully reading my mangas or watching anime that’s it.

Second one in a day

Revenge is the strongest and sweetest emotion in this whole world. Anger, frustration, greed, excitement, happy, sad, anxiety, insecurity, eager, guilt, content, surprise, scare, pain, nervous, love, hate, enthusiasm, shock and betrayal it overpowers all these feelings/emotions.  What if you dedicate your whole life to a certain purpose or a certain someone and later on that certain someone turns out to be your biggest enemy. How would you feel if your belief regarding your purpose of life turns out to be completely wrong from the beginning? I would definitely be hurt and disappointed. In fact I would feel so betrayed at some point that I might erase that very existence from my life and not regret one inch. I guess it’s easy to say.

I miss my father so much that sometimes it’s unbearable. When he left us my mother, my brother and me we broke down so badly that it took us 6 years to get a grip on our lives and move on. I’m not saying that it doesn’t happen with others sure it does and maybe in much worst conditions but we just never expected that. I know that life is unfair and cruel and it isn’t predictable. Nobody ever knows what willing happen next. We didn’t see that coming. It never ever occurred even in my dreams. He was sick for 2 years before that happened kidney failure. We still aren’t completely over it.

He had built a thick wall around us. We were like small chickens protected by their mother. A warm and cozy shield was wrapped around us so tightly nothing to fear away from all evil sources, bad influence and this cruel dirty world. But the minute he left that wall started to shatter, you can feel the air coming from outside through that shield’s holes; eventually it started to break down and completely fell apart. We couldn’t do anything, nothing. Just sit and watch. He knew that this will happen he knew all along but didn’t tell us WHY? Why didn’t he tell us? Didn’t we deserved to know?

It’s awfully painful so frustrating. Everyone betrayed us; family and friends every bloody one. They will pay for their sins one day. I want answers, justice and revenge by hook or by crook and I will hate them from the core of my heart till my last breathe.

I feel like I’m still chasing after him hoping to catch up to him someday. I also know that nothing good will ever come out of it he just wants me to be happy but sometimes these emotions gush through my body from tip to toe. I can’t help it. He was my idol, he still is and always will be my hero my idol. He’s the best father I have ever seen or known. He will always be the best father in the whole universe. Past should be left behind they meant to be but sometimes you just can’t leave your past. You carry it along with you all your life.

Something about ME

Good evening. Almost evening over here. I’m a very shy, introvert, impatient and short tempered person quiet emotional sometimes. I get irritated very easily and I never let anyone touch my stuff without my permission I just hate who do that. I don’t know why but since childhood I hate this fact that “Sharing is Carrying” that’s all crap.

I belong from a very conservative and orthodox family. I did my studies here and graduation from Bangalore and again back at my hometown because I’m getting married. My hobbies are watching animes, movies, reading mangas and listening songs I enjoy these things. I love reading mangas. I’m crazy about Japan and it’s culture. It is so damn fascinating to me. I’m a clean freak and also a vegetarian. My favourite colour is purple. I love anything to do with purple. My favourite pet is dog; they are so adorable and the most loyal creature in this whole world. I feel bad every time I see people misbehaving with them. I want to do something for street dogs in future. I curse those people who mistreat animals.

My favourite author is Yoneda Kou I love her art I admire her work. Her stories are so pure, touching yet so loveable; art is realistic and hard she makes the best yaoi mangas. Let me tell you what yaoi manga means if you don’t know that is boys love Japanese comics. There are other great manga artist as well in my list – Nekota Yonezou, Mizuno Junko, Takarai Rihito, Suzuki Tsuta, Ogawa Chise, Hidaka Shoko, Yaya Sakuragi, Hiro Fujiwara, Robiko, Takeshi Obata, Tsugumi Ohba. Yeah so far only this much. They are my inspiration, my idols. They all are amazing have unique style and different feel in their works. I feel so connect when read their mangas I can relate to them and sympathise with characters. It is so overwhelming. I get very emotional while reading I cry many times. It’s the best feeling.

I want to become a 2D artist and earn heaps of money. I want to become strong and independent like my father. Right now here I feel trapped locked up in this cage there’s no way out. It’s quite complicated to to tell why but in short I spend all day in my house. I don’t go out. I don’t have any friends not a single one. Strange right? I believe that friend means betrayal. They are bound to break your trust. I’ll tell the reasons later. I’m a very simple girl with lots of complications. I have a very loving family. I don’t even know why I started writing though I hate telling others about personal issues. I guess I’m trying to find my true self in this busy lost world.

Introducing my place

Hello people I’m back 😊. Actually I was very excited to write again don’t know if anyone is reading or not but if someone is then i would like to correct one little thing. In previous post I said that I won’t reveal any personal information so here I would like to add one thing about me that I’m from Varanasi, India. India itself is widely known for it’s rich colorful culture, cuisine and population haha… We don’t have any national language because in 29 states there are 22 different recognized regional languages spoken. Hindi is the most common spoken language and understood in every state. India is the 7th largest country by area and most populous democracy in the world; also one of the most ancient civilization. Hinduism, Jainism, Buddhism and Sikhism were born in India.

Don’t worry I’m not promoting my country neither writing an essay I just want to introduce my country, my place to all the people out there regardless of their awareness/unawareness. So if you find it boring then I would suggest “just bear with this for awhile”.

So my birth place is Varanasi. It is also called as Benaras, Kashi and Banaras. Varanasi is known as the city of temples. One of the world’s oldest living cities that I’m proud of. Also it is India’s spiritual and religious capital. It is a tourist hotspot and centre of pilgrims for Hindus of all denominations. It has one of the largest residential universities of Asia that’s called BHU (Banaras Hindu University) where I never got in. Well I wanted to study art from there and had planned to become an artist but life was planning something else something better for me at that time so didn’t get the opportunity no issues we’ll get to that topic later. Now let’s focus on this first. Varanasi has very rich literature history I don’t want to go deep into it so if you want to know more you can google it. It has nearly 100 ghats. It is the holiest of 7 sacred cities in Hinduism and Jainism.

Yeah so this is it. You can relax and take a deep breath now😁. I will not write more about my city or country. Since this blog is about me so I’ll just write any random thing that comes first into my mind. For the time being bye bye people.

Reasons

Hello I am very new to this blog. I won’t reveal my name or any other personal information not because I’m scared but I want to dedicate it to my inner self and my emotions. I want to express my feelings through this blog writing maybe because couldn’t find any better medium. Well my English isn’t that good so forgive me for any future mistakes.

Just now I created this blog; so midnight yeah. I should be asleep by now but I thought I should write at least few words to honor my blog. I’m not a writer or anything but I like to express my thoughts through writing. I think while writing I can be myself and write good/bad experiences that will lighten the weight from my shoulders. I used to write in my dairy daily back in my school days. Typical thing right?

Anyways I will write more later and I’ll try to keep this process alive forever but I get bored very soon and stop doing things halfway. I hope it doesn’t happen this time. I’m off to sleep. Goodnight people.